Bullied Boy Gets Charged After Recording Bullies In Action

A 15-year-old boy with a comprehension delay disorder, ADHD, and an anxiety disorder complained to his school and parents that there were bullies who were intimidating him and physically attacking him yet the school failed to intervene on behalf of their student. He decided to take action and use his school-issued iPad to record an incident with the (rational) thought that if he had proof he could stop the bullying. Boy, was he wrong! Instead what happened was he, himself, was charged with disorderly conduct for secretly recording individuals who didn’t give consent to being recorded! If you’re thinking, “Surely this can’t be happening now, in today’s society” you are very wrong, my friend. He was just found guilty on March 19, 2014. You might also be thinking, “This must have happened somewhere outside of America because this type of unfairness would not be allowed in an advanced country such as ours”, and you would be wrong on this account, as well. This happened in the great state of Pennsylvania, one of 12 states that require the consent of all parties when making a recording. The bullies have never been punished.


Thankfully, the DA eventually decided not to pursue this case and dropped the charges after it gained public attention. But there is something seriously wrong with Lt. Robert Kurta, the officer who made the decision to file a citation against the teen, and the legal system if a teen who isn’t being protected by their school takes matters into their own hands in a non-violent way. You can watch an interview of the teen here.

Thanks to The Mobility Resource for bringing this story to my attention.

Another not-so-great doctor visit

Sigh..

In January of 2012 I sat in the ER room, waiting for the doctor to come in to see my son, again, and tell me why his oxygen level was low enough that he needed an oxygen mask to breathe. I held my baby as he slept, looking down at his sweet 3 month old face and wondered what could be the possible cause. The tears wouldn’t stop and the ones I didn’t catch in time dropped on his hospital gown. The quiet tears turned to very deep sobs. I prayed to God that it wasn’t something permanent. “Please, God, PLEASE, whatever it is, don’t let it be something permanent!” I BEGGED. Just sitting there, rocking him, begging out loud, praying and sobbing, that whatever was causing the repeated ER visits and now the oxygen mask would be just a blip in his timeline.

But it wasn’t. First we discovered he had PCP which is a very serious pneumonia, very rarely seen in babies, more often seen in patients with compromised immune systems caused by HIV. But why did a little cold progress into such a serious illness? After a series of blood tests, X-rays, MRI’s, scopes and biopsies, Bruton’s was the reason. And it is very permanent.

Yesterday we go for a regular follow-up at the immunologist’s office and I leave there with the doctors concerned that he has a speech delay. He is 16 months old and does not say  even one word. He makes “mama” and “dada” sounds but they are not directed at us. He doesn’t call us by our names. And he should be. I have a call in to early intervention for a speech evaluation but I am praying that it is nothing permanent. Again. I pray that it is just because his older sister is non-verbal so he is mimicking the only other kid that he’s really around right now and his words will soon be exploding from his mouth. 

There are so many layers to this traumatic doctor’s visit. Going through yet another thing with my son; having two kids with special needs; looking forward to the Italy I missed out on with my first kid and landing in Holland again. I can’t even form coherent phrases to everything in my brain right now.

Please, please, please don’t let this be permanent.

I want to hear “mommy” from one of my babies.

Cops beat man with Down Syndrome

Unconstitutional Use of Force

I recently posted on Google+ and Facebook about how the US and the city of Portland, Oregon have have jointly filed in federal court a proposed court enforceable settlement agreement to remedy constitutional claims that the Portland Police Bureau (PPB) engages in a pattern or practice of unconstitutional uses of force in response to “low-level offenses” against persons with actual or perceived mental illness.

I guess it’s time to do the same in Vista, CA. A deputy pepper-sprayed, beat with a baton and detained a man (after throwing him to the ground with the assistance of another deputy who showed up) in handcuffs who has Down Syndrome. There were witnesses in the area shouting that he had Down Syndrome but that didn’t slow the cops down from beating him and leaving many contusions, scrapes and bruises on him. He was transported to the hospital (still in cuffs I might add) and allowed to go home with his family. The following day, police officers showed up at the family’s place of business and informed them they would be dropping the citation they had against him (they claimed he was acting “suspicious”; he was walking the 5 minute walk to work) and offered them a turkey with stuffing for their Christmas meal as an apology. Yep. A turkey dinner. 

Now, I am not claiming that if a person is being aggressive or a danger to others or themselves, they should not be handcuffed or sprayed just because they have down syndrome or any other form of developmental disability. And again I say, I'm not anti-cop but there is definitely a culture of beat 'em, taze 'em. The fact that the U.S., not a local town or county, has filed against a particular city's police bureau (Portland, OR) indicates there have been egregious violent acts against a vulnerable segment of our population: the mentally ill. This story is just one account that made it into mainstream media. And hardly even that – I saw this only on CNN.


Some questions to ponder:

How about some education for those who are supposed to protect us so that those among us don't need protection from them?
How about instead of locking people up and throwing away the key, we get them some medical support? 

Would you think that would be a better idea if you knew it decreases recidivism? 

How about if it reduced the level of violence of the repeat offenders?

Read about how changing our current prison system could possibly change our society as a whole here.

What A Learning Disorder Is

WHAT’S A LEARNING DISORDER?

Today, boys & girls, I want to discuss what a learning disorder (LD) is.

If your kid doesn’t do well in school; if he can’t focus on a task; if he is always tapping his fingers or pencil; if he continually talks to other students in class during work time; if he never seems to be able to complete his homework; if he fails pretty much every test he takes, he may not be a Bad Kid. He may actually have a learning disorder.

LD is an umbrella term that can encompass many types of learning problems. It has NOTHING to do with INTELLIGENCE or MOTIVATION. In other words, if your child has a true LD there is no amount of punishment that will motivate him to “do better”. Taking away all his video games and all extra curricular activities just for the sake of punishment will not help. 

An LD is not just about reading or numbers. It can also cause problems with reasoning and speaking. Your son could be looking right at you when you’re explaining something to him but he can’t grasp what you’re saying. Not because he isn’t paying attention but because his brain is different from yours. A kid with an LD might love to read but can’t do simple math. He might grasp the entire periodic table and know how each element interacts with the other but cannot understand what you mean when you say, “You need to finish up before dinner time.”

WHAT A LEARNING DISORDER IS NOT

I can remember times in elementary school where I just couldn’t get what I was being taught. 5^th grade science was the worst. I just didn’t enjoy it and couldn’t be bothered to study it so needless to say, I didn’t score so well on the exams. But it wasn’t because I had a processing disorder or an LD. I just really hated science. A learning disorder is totally different. A kid with an LD isn’t dumb or lazy. They are wired differently which means they don’t take in information the same way as kids without an LD. You can’t be expected to follow a recipe if it’s written in Swahili (and you only know English) so how can you expect for your child with an LD to learn how to add or spell or to tell the difference between stratus clouds and cirrus clouds if you’re trying to teach him the same way kids without LD’s are taught?

YOU GIVE IT A TRY

Let’s try a little experiment, shall we? Think of something you enjoy. It can be anything.  Are you great at cooking? Math? Gardening? Super. Now go to a foreign country and sign up for a class in their language and see how well you do.  My guess is, not that great. How do you think it would be, to sit in a classroom with someone speaking at you in a foreign language & where everyone else in the class is getting it? Would you be anxious, trying to pick up on what they’re doing, what page they’re on, what they’re writing and reading? Would you be bored, not being able to understand the words that are coming out of the instructor’s mouth, so you start daydreaming or gazing out the window? Would you be irritated, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, your fellow students getting obviously annoyed that you keep looking over their shoulders or asking questions?

And that’s in a class that’s on a topic that you ENJOY.

Imagine how it might be for a kid who deals with these emotions on a daily basis, in a place they have come to hate and feel uncomfortable in because it’s all a foreign language; a place where they have become hated because they don’t follow along easily or are disruptive in a class that teaches them nothing.

HOW CAN YOU TELL IF IT’S A LEARNING DISORDER?

OK, so you’re not sure if your kid has a learning disorder. Here are some signs at different ages that may clear it up for you: (the following chart was found at Helpguide.org) 

Preschool signs and symptoms of learning disabilities

§  Problems pronouncing words

§  Trouble finding the right word

§  Difficulty rhyming

§  Trouble learning the alphabet, numbers, colors, shapes, days of the week

§  Difficulty following directions or learning routines

§  Difficulty controlling crayons, pencils, and scissors or coloring within the lines

§  Trouble with buttons, zippers, snaps, learning to tie shoes

Grades K-4 signs and symptoms of learning disabilities

§  Trouble learning the connection between letters and sounds

§  Unable to blend sounds to make words

§  Confuses basic words when reading

§  Consistently misspells words and makes frequent reading errors

§  Trouble learning basic math concepts

§  Difficulty telling time and remembering sequences

§  Slow to learn new skills

Grades 5-8 signs and symptoms of learning disabilities

§  Difficulty with reading comprehension or math skills

§  Trouble with open-ended test questions and word problems

§  Dislikes reading and writing; avoids reading aloud

§  Spells the same word differently in a single document

§  Poor organizational skills (bedroom, homework, desk is messy and disorganized)

§  Trouble following classroom discussions and expressing thoughts aloud

§  Poor handwriting

GET HELP

If you think your kid has a learning disorder, please get help for him NOW. It’s important to note that people with LD’s are usually just as smart as anyone without an LD. Don’t let your personal feelings on what it will mean to YOU if your son or daughter is diagnosed with a learning disorder. Denying that there is a greater issue (like a disability) at hand because you're afraid of how you will look to other people is selfish and wrong. Give your kid a chance to learn and to grow!

Handprints on the TV - A Milestone In A Family With Disabilities

We reached another milestone today. Handprints on the TV screen. I’ve been unknowingly waiting for this one and I couldn’t be more excited than if the boy had recited the alphabet today at 10 months old!

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One day, when the girl was 9 years old, we came home from the mall or somewhere and were “unwrapping”. That’s when we remove the chest harness, unbutton and remove the coat, unwind the scarf, strip off the sweater and take off the shoes. It’s a process as many of you well know! We were doing this in the dining room and I dropped her shoes in the corner, out of the way of her wheelchair so it wouldn’t block our path. I gave her a snack and took her to her room to stretch out in her bed and watch some TV. The unwrapping can take up to 10 minutes, depending on how cooperative the girl is and how many layers I need to peel off of myself, and the snack about another 15. Getting home from the mall can be exhausting!



Innocent yet mocking

When I got back to the dining room to clean up the snack mess I noticed her cute little black Mary Jane’s sitting in the corner of the room. Suddenly, the room shrunk to the tiny spot they took up and I was paralyzed. I remember thinking specifically, “Those shoes could be anybody’s shoes.” Walking up to my main door, anybody visiting my home would know immediately that there was somebody in this house that needed some assistance due to the wheelchair ramp. Other clues could be the wheelchair accessible van in the driveway; once inside, the backup manual wheelchair that is usually rolling from room to room with no permanent storage spot; the communication device that’s almost always on the dining room table; the roll-in shower; the bed rails...

But these shoes – these she wore without her orthotics (leg braces) so they were just regular ol’ shoes. Those shiny little shoes, so innocently sitting there. Mocking me with a deceitful beauty. It occurred to me that nobody could tell that their owner was disabled. They could have belonged to a blonde who had a thing for tiaras; the winner of last year’s Suffolk County Spelling Bee; the star of Abby Lee Miller’s Dance Company. That last thought was the one that froze me. My throat closed up and my chest tightened and they just sneered at me, filling my head with thoughts of little girls tapping, twirling, hell, just WALKING in them. But the soles of these were brand spanking new. They had been worn at least a dozen times yet not a scuff, not a scratch, not a scrape on them. They belonged to a little girl who did not tap nor twirl.

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My boy gives his mother the privilege of living through the things that most moms cringe at. I know a mom who is so anal about handprints that she wipes her microwave free from said prints several times a day! When her children were little, like 3 or 4, she would clean up their room WHILE they were still playing with their toys. Me? I’m going to leave the prints up for a while. When the TV is off, I like walking past it and seeing the proof that there is an adorable little boy in this home who is going to grow up to run, jump and yes, walk.